Here I am at any age whatsoever–one or ninety one, and as you can see I have a happy smile on my face.
I remember when I was eighteen/nineteen, that sort of age, people used to say to me, ‘it might never happen’ or similar phrases. Now, I think I should have said, ‘how about a contribution towards my analysis.’ But that was a long way off. In fact I was always surprised when people said it because it didn’t tie up with the feeling inside. No, I wasn’t unhappy; I was thinking. Perhaps the expression on my face led to confusion in some people’s minds: thinking equals unhappiness.
I was thinking. This is to be unpacked as, “Hey, I’m working, do not disturb, I am an unpaid hack in the Ministry of What the Hell is Going on Here. And besides that, my motorbike isn’t working and when am I going to get a girl friend?”
Little did I know that the girl friend was just about to happen and the whole pace of life was about to pick up quite dramatically sans motorbike.
Which makes me think that the motorbike was merely a rather dangerous stand-in, to be wheeled out when life is not happening with sufficient intensity.
(ak)