The Big Issue

Yes, in answer to your enquiry, we are making friends. It often begins innocently enough, Hello, Ist frei, Bitte. Ja, Ist frei. Bitte.

And so on, until we get to the big issue; MONEY. Give me some of yours. No more please, or polite asking, and how's about it. In other words, the insistent outstretched hand.

How embarassing, please stop, but then finally, Yes, allright here you are (I KNOW, IT IS NOT ENOUGH, BUT NOW GO AWAY).

A threadbare story whether set in Marleybone High Street or Chowdychuck, since all we are getting to see and observe are degrees of difficulty, the difference between one man or woman on the street with a magazine in his outstretched hand (price one pound (£1.00)), and another man or woman on the street with nothing in his or her hand, in fact with no hand at all in this instance, only a stump, and then all the other millions of people that fill in between these two arbitrary measuring points.

Yes, in answer to your enquiry, we are making friends. This is not about welfare. This is not about a programme for eradicating poverty in the world. This is absolutely about you and me making friends.

For instance, take those absurd spam enquiries from African potentates, and Russian lovelies offering the business chance or relationship of a lifetime… if only we will send a little money first or even better tell them our bank account numbers. The funniest ones work best, those with the grandest titles like 'His Highness', or most extreme Russo-English phrasing; see the Guardian Magazine for October 23rd 2010 for transcripts of some of the friendships struck up as a result of one man on his computer entering into conversation with some of these (for LINK – see next week's post).

We catch each others' eye, and for the slightest moment the tragic circumstances dissolve. Yes, in answer to your enquiry, we are making friends.


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