Ahhhhh Pedro

18092012029

Ahhhhh Pedro, what do I see here? Lists! Have you gone mad? Have you had your monthly check-up? Is it hormonal? Have you stopped taking the medication? You describe yourself as an older man; what does that mean? Get yourself booked in for a total blood transfusion in one of these new-fangled private clinics, they will eager to fit you in as an emergency once they see the colour of the gold you’ve got stashed away in your voluminous pockets even though you look like something the cat dragged in from the gutters of Babylon.

Now we are entering this post-post-modern age the excitement is mounting. These ages are spinning faster and faster. Sleep has become a thing of the past. As you are so fond of saying, who the hell has the time to sleep. The thing to do is to cram three lives into one. Minimum. Preferably five or six. But as your grandfather used to say as the family sat by the fireside on a Sunday evening, you have to start somewhere. He was a prophet – they don’t make them like that any more.

By the way, do you know the name of the prime minister? I was just wondering, no need to get agitated. These prime ministers come and go, how can anybody keep up with their names. You’re quite right. You can put the knife away. Relax. I put it down to this post-post-modern thing. I do believe this is going to be one hell of a ride. Thrilling, for sure but we might find the ride has been dismantled half way round. Yeah, you’re right again. That would be very funny.

But before we turn to post-post-modernism proper, let us take a moment to reflect, let us dive back into history. By the way, you do believe in history, don’t you? I’m fairly certain you do, but there was a minor flurry of anxiety when I wrote the word history – can any of us trust anything at all except the present moment. Some years ago we thought Be Here Now the very height of wisdom, then it wasn’t long before we got properly stuck into history, having babies by the dozen, divorcing, starting new relationships which never really worked, but the treadmill moved on and we had to keep climbing and of course we got precisely nowhere. That’s what I like: a moment of precision, a moment of knowing exactly what we are talking about, confident of the impeccable accuracy of our words.

By the way, how are the cats?

I think we might well need to take a complete sexual history. Are you sitting comfortably then let us begin ummm at the beginning.


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