Help! It is a fresh idea; one can’t do this alone.
Let’s set the scene first; not Montaigne, not Derrida, but some time afterwards. Evening. The two of us were sat in the café Buenos Aires, where passable salt herring and cold beer was still being served, two foreigners somewhat the worse for wear. A bit odd that, I thought rubbing my forehead, the fish would have to come a long way to get here. I observed my right arm was around the man’s shoulders.
I can’t do this, he said with a voice that shook with feeling, and pausing between each of the words so that it gave them dramatic effect, Without your, a longer pause and then a little laugh out loud, Help!
Help coughed out like yelp. Don’t worry, I said, I don’t think I can either. I had to think it wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear, and the way I had said it was far too cheery.
In front of us on the table there was a sheet of paper with a neat list of words running down the centre of the page. At the top there was a heading. On Friendship, it said, and bracketed alongside in smaller sized letters an instruction – (Tick) – . I stretched my arm further around his back and guided a pencil between the thumb and first two fingers of his right hand.
Without your, I repeated quietly. What, he said. We began reading the list out loud together.
support
interest
encouragement
advice
…
wise words
…
…
There was a pause. I don’t know if I am really up to having these today, he said, putting a question mark with the pencil besides ‘wise words’.
…
listening ear
compassionate voice
communion
hug
kiss
…
smile
frown
tears
…
time
care
patience
…
restraining hand
…
…
laughter
guffaw
There are some gaps, he said. Yes, I said, It could be incomplete.
Should I tick them all, he asked. I should leave some blank, I replied.
What for, he went on. Later, I said putting my hand over the pencil in his hand.
We fell into silence, staring together at the sheet of paper in front of us. It was yellowed with age, and creased from being folded into four, but not crumpled. In fact it seemed unusually smooth between the folds with a soft sheen, and the corners were stretched as if they had been pulled out like cloth on a frame.