Judged by the tenor of the rumbling sounds coming from downstairs it appears His Lordship is fast asleep. I know it wont last, but while HE is in this state I have been getting up to a bit of mischief: I’ve begun to concoct a series of awesome lists (see below).
Please feel free to create more lists. So far disgraceful self-interest has led me to focus mostly along gender and ageing lines (ie as an older man). Plus add as many items as you like to the lists (you’ll see that I’ve not got very far with any of them).
“Awesome Lists for Ageing Men (and Women)”:
10 Places to make brilliant connections
1. Meet Up
2. the Amazings
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+ 10 Ways to Step Up and Step Out:
1. Go to Sainsburys and don’t buy anything
2. Go to any supermarket with a gas primer and some cooking things… and cook a meal for everyone (they do this in France – it is called decroissance)
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+ 10 Ways to stop feeling sorry for ourselves:
1. Dress like Ali – see ‘What Ali Wore’
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+
(for the Women) 10 Ways to give you back Healthier, Happier Men:
1. Sign him up for Laughter Yoga
2. Indulge his romantic fantasies… (Up to a point… keep the dog between you if worried!)
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Naughty Lists
10 Ways to let rip:
1. Fart on the London underground (down escalator)
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(etc… EDITOR: I feel there are many more Naughty Lists to be written)
eg:
‘Donut List’: 10 Donuts NOT to end up with
1. Donut cushion for bleeding piles
2. Isolation donuts
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‘Poke in the Eye’ Lists
10 things older men WILL NOT PUT UP WITH:
1. Being thought of as ‘dirty old men’
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+ 10 Kinds of ‘Elders’ to avoid:
1. Judgemental phonies
2. Patriarchs and pussywhips
3. Church elders (mostly)
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(etc, etc…)
MAKE MORE LISTS! After all THIS (being older) is the AGE to get away with it ALL (at least until HE wakes up)! Laugh out loud (as they say in social media speak), or as loudly as you like, because I am told that when HE sleeps he sleeps deeply
EDITOR’S NOTE: Another series of hopefully equally disgraceful Death-in-Life Lists are also in preparation.