‘Their father’s world is too strange’

 Posted by at 10:54 am  Hitting the Potholes  Comments Off
Aug 162013
 

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The title is a phrase from The Tunnel and it provokes the question: What happens when the link cannot be made? I went to visit my cousin last week – he is about the same age as me, a couple of months older to be exact – but he is now suffering from vascular dementia and needs 24 hour care. His partner is looking after him; I think, heroically: I don’t know how long she will be able to maintain it. She explains the world to him so that he can manage it. And I lift up his hand to shake it or maybe simply to hold it in a way which I hope is reassuring. Later she takes him to the toilet and then goes out to take the car out of the garage in preparation for a doctor’s appointment and asks me to help him after he has washed his hands. He stands with dripping hands not knowing what to do. I hand him the towel and then he dries them.

On the way back into London I drop into Westminster Cathedral and light a candle and sit in the Lady chapel. Upset and maybe bewildered is the right word. Later I notice that I can almost envy his having her explain the world to him.